The Myth of a Quick Cup of Tea

Sometimes a thing is more than a thing. When we gather with our Muslim neighbors to drink the traditional “three cups of tea,” we consume more than a hot, sweet beverage. In this hot, inhospitable desert land, we commune with the most hospitable of people.

But communing takes time. A tea-drinking visit requires at least an hour. But at the discretion of the host, it may last four or five hours (with a meal and a communal nap on the floor, thrown in for good measure). Since it is not considered polite to leave before the third—and final—cup of tea is served, a guest pretty much “stays put” until the host or hostess determines that the visit is complete.

At first, this messed with my Western sensibilities. In America, time is perhaps the most valuable of resources. Most people I know in the States are busy, busy, busy. If I want to spend time with someone—even a very good friend—we must both whip out our calendars and schedule a date some days, weeks, or even months in advance. The days of “just dropping in” on your neighbor for a leisurely visit have passed. But not so here.

I recall one visit at a local friend’s house. That afternoon seemed to last a week! It can be exhausting—and let’s confess, boring—to listen to hours of conversation in a foreign language. My husband’s linguistic abilities have far exceeded my own, so I often feel like a little kid playing basketball with grown men. I can run and jump and try to smack at the ball, but it pretty much flies above my head throughout the game. I may catch a few words here and there that I can understand, but mostly I am relying on visual cues and my own imagination to fill in the gaps.

Happily, I have a good imagination, and I’m a pro at reading facial expressions. When words fail me, I speak fluently with my hands. After each visit, my hubby and I “debrief.” It’s funny to compare notes. “What did you think they were talking about after that first cup of tea? It looked like an argument, but they were probably just discussing the price of tomatoes.”

Anyway—getting back to that long and memorable afternoon—I was getting tired, and my eyes had begun to glaze over. Just when I thought my husband and I had turned the corner and were soon headed home, a local man popped in to see our host. So our host said, “This is my good friend. He has come to play chess with me. We will play just one game of chess, and then you can leave. I will even drive you home.”

“Just one game of chess!” I thought, squirming in my seat (on the floor). “Oh, no! We’re not going anywhere for at least another hour. Take a deep breath, Mona. You may as well settle back and relax. Your third cup of tea won’t hurry.”

It is one thing to partake of tea; it is another to learn to make it. Here there is no such thing as heating a cup of water in the microwave and dropping in a tea bag to serve your local guest. First, there are no microwaves; second, the tea ritual is complex. So stay tuned. Next month’s edition of Just About Anything will feature “The Myth of the Simple Cup of Tea.”

Until then, consider the words of a wise man: “It takes a million cups of tea to win a Muslim’s heart.” Well, here’s to three cups down and only 999,997 more to go!

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