The Importance of Naming Cows

I was grown before I realized that my Aunt Grey was a historian. She farmed for 32 years—not counting a childhood spent hoeing corn and milking cows. When Grey purchased a farm of her own and bought cattle, she started a notebook. On wide-ruled lines, she meticulously recorded the details of each calf born on her farm. She drew separate columns for its number, name, birth date, mother and father, a description of its striking features or color, the date it was sold, and the price it earned per pound. Most interesting of all was the fact that Aunt Grey named all of her calves.  Not every farmer does this, especially if he is planning to sell them soon.

Grey’s naming system documented important events. Whenever a new president was elected, he and his family members were honored with a calf called after each of them. The 1970s brought Jimmy, Rosalyn, Billy, Chip, Amy, and Lillian.  Aunt Grey voted Democratic that fall.  The 1980s prompted Ronald, and the 90s added Jessie J., Ross, Perot, and Slick Willie.  Soon Hillary, Chelsea, Al, and Tipper followed. And who could forget the trial of the century with O.J., Nicole, Cochran, and Marcia?  Each member of our own family was also remembered with at least one calf as a namesake. I tried not to take it personally when Mona, M.G., and Mona B. were each sold at market.

Some names reflected seasons and holidays: Jannie, Firstie, Febbie, Valentine, Ground Hog, Shadow, Lincoln, March, Spring, Robin, April Dawn, Showers, Cruxifer, Maybelle, Flower, Junie, Julie Mae, Julyeth, Augusta, Sept, Spook, Voter, Turkie, Noel, Hollie, Jollie, Merrie, Prancer, and Rudolph. Other names commemorated family celebrations. Every February around Granny’s birthday, Grey has listed a Carrie A., Anna, or Little Momma. Once, when Grey’s husband Bob had heart surgery, she named a calf By Pass.

A good number earned their nomenclature according to their appearance or behavior soon after delivery. Among them were Dinkie, Hefty, Chunkie, Prissie, Perfect, Sneaky, Skippy, Shakie, and Wobble.  Calves who were born backwards with their hind legs first became Reverse, Backfire, or Miracle. No one enjoys feeding cattle in bad weather, so I guess that’s how we got Thundercloud, Drizzle, Snowie, Drift, and Slippie. Two of my favorites were born just a few days apart. Can you guess what was bothering Grey when she named Arthur and Ritis?

One day when I was five years old, I arrived at the barn just after a cow had given birth. Newborn calves are astonishingly clean and bright, and they learn to walk almost immediately after a couple of noodle-legged attempts. This calf my Aunt Grey gave to me, and I had the honor of naming her. I took my responsibility seriously. At the time, I had been watching old movies of Shirley Temple dancing “On the Good Ship Lollipop.”  “Lolly” rolled nicely off the tongue, so I thought that would make a beautiful first name. Then I tried to express my great happiness by choosing the middle name of “Gay.”  Who could have anticipated that such a simple word would dramatically change its meaning in my lifetime?

When Aunt Grey sold Lolly Gay a few months later, she gave me the earnings, which I dutifully deposited in my savings account along with my Christmas and birthday money. Farmers, I learned, had to keep something back for the lean years. By the time I entered college, however, I knew I would never become a farmer. In a moment of extravagance, I cashed out my cow savings and bought a complete hardcover set of the diaries and letters of Virginia Woolf, an early 20^th century novelist. I knew I would become a writer.

History came full circle when I discovered that Woolf herself had taken the earnings from her first publication and—in a moment of extravagance—had purchased herself a Persian cat. I suppose that in her London flat she simply didn’t have room for a cow.

I first happened upon Aunt Grey’s cow records when she sent me to fetch something from her nightstand. I’d never seen the much-handled spiral notebook before, so I took it to my aunt to learn more. Grey seemed pleasantly surprised and pleased with my interest. I sat down and read the whole thing!

What a delightful discovery! Aunt Grey’s cow notebook was not simply a record of her business transactions; it was the story of her life. Each of us, I hope, has work that we enjoy doing—work that gives us meaning, purpose, and a reason to get out of bed every morning. How lovely to find a tangible reminder of a life well spent! “Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men ….” (Colossians 3:23-24 ESV)

 

 

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